Trinity Blood Counseling Camp
by Mari Kazara
Summary: The squel to Welcome to Trinity Blood Counseling.
1. Introduction

**Welcome to Trinity Blood Counseling Camp**

Mari: Welcome everyone. It's nice to see you after a month.

Professor: A month but we just saw you at the Karaoke...

Mari: I don't what you are talking about. But it sound like one of those suppressed memories ,where the experience is so bad that person chooses to not accept it existence.

Professor: I think I know where she going with this.

Mari: Now it comes to my attention that many of you feel that you are not in a relaxed environment at this hospital.

Leon: Well, I did suggest we have our meetings in a giant jazzy.

Mari: I'll just ignore that.

Leon: You shouldn't ignore my feelings.

Kate: What feelings?

Leon: I have lots of feeling. What would make you think I didn't have feelings?

Kate: Since you told me your title was: Leon, the man with no feelings

Leon: Well, it's actually Leon: The man with no feeling to express at the moment, but maybe at a later date. It was shortened for you convenience.

Kate: You mean for _your _convenience.

Abel: I want a title.

Hugue: How about Abel: the man who still cries at "Floppy the Puppy" movies.

Abel: I can't help it, he so brave and strong. Remember the part where he got lost from his family in the woods. He was all alone with no one to help him. (Starts to cry) Don't give up Floppy, I believe in you.

Mari: Getting back to what this meeting is actually about, I have decided that we should meet at a lovely Outtamymind Pine Retreat.

Kate: Were going to go to camp.

Hugue: I thought camp was where parents sent there kids when they wanted to get rid of the brats for the summer.

Mari: This isn't summer camp, this is a retreat were we go relax, share our feelings, get to...

Abel: We get to go camping! Fishing, roasting marshmallow, singing campfire songs...

Hugue: getting bitten by mosquitoes, falling in poison ivy...

Abel: I hope I can find my tent.

Mari: Um... we'll be staying in cabins.

Abel :( whining) But that's not any _fun._

Leon: Look you can become _dumb_ with nature if you want to. I rather am close to the hunnys.

Mari: Your cabin won't be anywhere near the girls cabins.

Leon: You hate me don't you?

Mari: No, I do these cruel things because I care. It's called" tough love".

Noelle: What are we going to be doing there?

Mari: Well, we'll still be having privater sessions together, and some group meetings, but you'll have some free time to relax. There will be canoeing, art class, fishing, horse back riding...

Hugue: Fencing?

Mari: Yes, but you have to reserve a fencing outfit ahead of time.

Hugue: Why would anyone need a fencing outfit?

Mari: So no one get hurt, no blood shed.

Hugue: How am I supposed to relax without any blood shed?

Mari: Hugue, you are going to have the first session.

Noelle: How will we get there?

Mari: Caterina, will be lending us her airship.

Noelle: Will only Ax members be going?

Mari: Oh no, we will be joined by those of the new empire, and also those in that hold leadership in different countries. I expect all of you to show respect toward each other and this experience should be quite beneficial.

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Mari: I have asked all you RosenKruez Order members to this meeting...

Isaak: Because you love us?

Mari: Because my higher uppers think that you need my services, and since I have no say in the matter, I am forced to accept.

Isaak: Yeah right , we know it because you love us.

Mari: ( gritting teeth) Okay, fine, whatever . I thought that it would help us better communicate if we were in a more relax environment.

Cain: Great idea. Let's all meet at the torture chamber at my place.

Mari: (Yelling) We are going on a counceling retreat.

Radu: What's a retreat?

Mari: Well, will be in cabins ,out in the woods, surrounding a beautiful lake.

Dietrich: I thought you said we going to go there to relax. That not my idea of relaxing.

Cain: Hey, according to this brochure, it says there is hunting there.

Mari: Well we don't encourage it...

Isaak: So who do we get to hunt?

Mari: That's it! We are not having hunting and that's final.

Radu :( whining) Then I don't want to go. It sounds boring.

Cain: Wait a minute is this really a cover for some illegal and/or immoral practice.

Mari: No!

Cain: I'll have to bring my illegal and/or immoral practice outfit. I really cool, with this extra swishy cape.

Isaac: You know my illegal and/or immoral practice outfit is getting old and it's got a lot of blood stains on it. I'll have to buy new one.

Mari: What are you talking about? This is a camp!

Cain: Okay everybody, we'll rendezvous in 400 hours. Let's go.

(They all exit)

Mari: I hope this camp has insurance.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Okay that is the opening. Not much to it, but it just a little something to get this series started.

We will be doing private sessions like last time but they will be centered around their camping experiences.


	2. Chapter 2

**Trinity Blood Counseling Camp**

**Abel Nightroad **

Mari: Well Abel, I had scheduled Hugue first, but they told me that you were having some problems. What exactly... (Looking up from notepad) what on earth happened to you?

Abel: What are you talking about?

Mari: All those bumps all over you. Do you have chicken pox?

Abel: Oh, no those are mosquito bites.

Mari: I never seen one person covered with so many.

Abel: Well, it seems that due to my outrageous amount of sugar consumption, I attract mesquites from miles around. The nurse said maybe some from out of state.

Mari: You know, I have this great bug repellent. It will kill any bug that come three feet from you.

Abel: No!

Mari: Why?

Abel: I don't want to hurt them. They are just little bits of life after all.

Mari: Maybe I can spray it on you when you're delirious with malaria. Is that the problem they been talking about?

Abel: No, maybe it was what happened last night.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Flashback ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Professor: Is Abel asleep yet?

Tres: Affirmative.

Hugue: Keep your voice down.

Leon: I got the feather.

Professor: I couldn't find any shaving cream.

Tres: The mission can not be completed without obtaining shaving cream.

Hugue: Ah, man.

Leon: Wait I got something in my pocket.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooEnd of Flashbackooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Mari: They filled you hand with super glue?!!!!!

Abel: Yeah.

Mari: I was wondering why you had your hand that way. I thought it to hide all those mesquites bites.

Abel: Why would I want to hide them?

Mari: Um, never mind. I make sure to talk to the culprits about it later.

Abel: Don't be too hard on the fellows, they were just having fun.

Mari: Um, yeah. Abel it says here that that you were sent to the nurse for a rabies shot?

Abel: The sign in the on the tree said "don't feed the animals". I did not say "don't hug the animals".

Mari: It also says you were treated for mouth burns.

Abel: Well, they said eat the marshmallow right off the stick when you're roasting it. Mine just happened to be on fire at the time...

Mari: Abel, you don't have to go on any further, I think I get the picture. Abel, maybe camp just isn't the right thing for you.

Abel: Are you kidding? I have been having such a great time.

Mari: What?

Abel: Yeah, you were right about this place. I feel so relaxed. Like all my stress is just melting away.

Mari: Either you have a high pain tolerance or a low I.Q.

Abel: Well if were done, I'm off to go canoeing. I hope the boat doesn't sink this time.

(He exits)

Mari: Well there he goes, the Insanely Optimistic Poster Child.

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**Leon Garcia de Asturias**

Mari: Well, Leon, in order for you to grow closer to your daughter, I had thought it a good idea to have you work as a volunteer for the kids camp next door.

Leon: Yeah, I think it's really been a good idea.

Mari: Yes, unfortunately you the only one who seems to think this.

Leon: What are you talking about? I'm really getting in touch with my inner child.

Mari: According to these reports, it more likely you been in touch with you inner demon.

Leon: The kids and I have been having a great time

Mari: Yes I can see that, like putting cans of baked beans in the fire pit, so that when the started the fire the cans exploded covering everyone with beans.

Leon: That was great.

Mari: And telling them to rub poison ivy in the other campers flip flops.

Leon: That was a classic.

Mari: And getting them to sew beef jerky into the lining of Francesco robes so that all the wild animals chased him around.

Leon: I didn't do that.

Mari: Oh yeah, that was Kate and Noelle.

Leon: How come their not getting in trouble.

Mari: No one complained.

Leon: I guess I can understand that.

Mari: But what most seem to have upset them the most was happen yesterday.

Leon: My how to shoot a Bazooka lesson.

Mari:No I'm talking about last night.

Leon: Last night, last night, oh yeah, we were sharing stories around the campfire.

Mari: Yes and you decided to tell them the story of the Vampire Bloodbath of '04.

Leon: They need a history lesson.

Mari: Which you chose to narrate by crunching old chicken bone and throw open ketchup packets at them.

Leon: Just trying to bring history alive.

Mari: Well, thanks to your little presentation half of those kids now have to come to this retreat for counseling.

Leon: Hey, I got you a bunch of new paying patients.

Mari: Yes, and for you kindness you have to spend the next two days in the same cabin as Francesco and Alessondro.

Leon: No, no, anything but that.

Mari: In that time I hope you learn to care about the feeling of others.

Leon: More likely I think about how to burn down your cabin while you sleep.

(Leon leaves)

Mari:( sigh) I love my job.

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**Tres Iqus**

Mari: Hello, Tres, how are you doing?

Tres: I am fully functional.

Mari: Have you been relaxing like I have requested.

Tres: I do not comprehend.

Mari: Well, I gave you a list of thing to do while you were here.

Tres: That's correct.

Mari: The first thing I told you to do was go canoeing. Did you do that?

Tres: Positive.

Mari: Well, how did it go?

Tres: I sunk to the bottom of the lake.

Mari: Oh, I didn't think about that. Did the professor get you out?

Tres: Positive.

Mari: Well, how about singing songs around the campfire.

Tres: The professor only new one campfire song so he programmed me with just that one. I just kept singing it over and over.

Mari: And that didn't go well with the other members.

Tres: I was threatened with dismantling.

Mari: Sorry about that. Well, the professor tells me that you have been studying nature.

Tres: Positive. Yesterday I spent six hours studying a tree. Here is a photograph the professor took of me.

Mari: Why are you wearing a white coat?

Tres: Negative. The bird gifted me with that with coating. It took the professor two hours to clean me off.

Mari: That happens every time I park my car.

Tres: I read a book about nature. I least I think it was about nature.

Mari: Let me see the book.

(Tres hands here book)

Mari: Getting Back To Nature. Tres, you didn't follow what they told you to do in chapter one, did you?

Tres: Yes, and it seems that by that action I have answered a lot if the women questions about the construction of my anatomy.

Mari: Oh, no. Did the professor finally find you?

Tres: Yes, he seems to be upset but everyone else was laughing.

Mari: I bet they were. Tres, I'll try to think of something else for you to do.

Tres: Perhaps swimming?

Mari: Yeah well, I'll think about it.

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**Hugue de Watteau**

Mari: Hugue, I heard that you have not been enjoying you stay here.

Hugue: Then why don't I go home.

Mari: Of coarse not. Did you attend the art class?

Hugue: Yes.

Mari: Let see what you made.

Hugue: Here (he hands he something)

Mari: You knitted yourself a noose.

Hugue: I wanted to make some thing that I might need this week.

Mari: Ha, ha, very funny. Is this the picture you painted?

Hugue: Yes, I called Blood, blood, blood, blood...

Mari: You got like six layers of paint on here.

Hugue: blood, blood, blood, blood, blood...

Mari: It smells funny

Hugue: blood, blood, blood.

Mari: I think you should stay away from painting. It says here that you refused to take part in the skit.

Hugue: They wanted me to play a friendly forest creature.

Mari: So.

Hugue: I am cold and hard, not warm and fury

Mari: Oh come on.. I know deep,down, inside there is a warm and furry side to you.

Hugue: No way.

Mari: Look, one of the camp owner found this orphan bunny they have been taking care of. I went and got from it from them to keep me company. I want you to hold it.

Hugue: Oh no. Not the cute bunny trick.

Mari: Why are you afraid to hold him?

Hugue: Of coarse not. I won't be taken in by his cuteness.

(Hugue takes cute baby bunny from Mari)

Mari: Now are you sure that soft fur isn't making you feel fuzzy, wuzzy inside.

Hugue :( slightly struggling) No, I feel nothing.

Mari: And the shoe button eyes don't make you heart go thumpy, whumpy.

Hugue :( More weak) No thumpy, whumpy.

Mari: And the cute little nose.

Hugue: Oh no, not the nose

Mari: Going wiggle...

Hugue: (whimpers) no.

Mari: ...wiggle...

Hugh: No!

Mari:...wiggle!

Hugue: I can't stand it he so cute, I have to cuddle him.

Mari: That's right become one with you friendly forest creature side.

Hugue: I will, believe me, I will!

(Hugue leaves)

Mari: Well, got rid of him. Better go back to my cabin.

( In cabin there is hot tub, snack bar, entertainment center, and disco ball)

Mari: I love roughing it.

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October is a crazy month for me. As I am the only person in my family who sews, so costume making falls on me. Plus I have a ton of other stuff, but I will still try to update as much as possible.

Note: In the 60's getting back to nature meant that you went around with no clothes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Welcome to Trinity Blood Counseling Center**

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**William Walter Wordsworth**

Mari: Hello William, how are you doing?

Professor: How am I doing! How am I doing? Out here with no machines or anything fun to invent, how do you think I doing?

Mari: Well it sounds like your going through inventors withdraw.

Professor: I am not going through anything.

Mari: De-ni-al.

Professor: I am not in denial.

Mari: The first sign of denial is deny it.

Professor: That deniable.

Mari: Okay, this is just getting stupid. You have a problem, just look at you. You're all nervous and fidgety, you're twitchy and I think that's the nervous rash on you're arm.

Professor: Alright, alright maybe I do need some help.

Mari: First you got to get rid of all the electronical influences in your life. Now do you have any gadget or gizmo on you?

Professor: No!

Mari: Now Professor is honest.

Professor: Well, maybe I might have I one...

Mari: Professor am I going to have to frisk you.

Professor: Would you?

Mari: Professor! That's so unlike you.

Professor: Oh, I'm sorry. But when you put me in the same cabin as Leon what do you expect?

Mari: Oh, yes I see.

Professor: I wonder if that's why Tres took off all his clothes.

Mari: Oh no, that was another misunderstanding. But don't worry I'm moving Leon to another cabin.

Professor: I and the other guys would like to nominate you for sainthood.

Mari: Not necessary, but thank you. Now, I asked Tres to bring all the gadgets in you cabin and now you're going to give me all that are on you.

Professor: Well there this one, (pulls gadget out of pocket) and this (one pulls another) and this one... (He kept pulling out more and more gadgets until they are overflowing her desk.)

Mari: Is that it?

Professor: I do have electric underwear warmer.

Mari: You can keep that.

Professor: So...um... what should I do now?

Mari: Why don't you and Tres go stargazing or something like that? Take a closer look at the world around you.

Professor: That's a good idea. I mean what could go wrong.

(Professor leaves)

Mari: Burr! I suddenly got a cold chill. I wonder why?

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**Kate Scott**

Mari: Good morning, Kate.

Kate: Mmmph.

Mari: Ah, common what's with they bad attitude.

Kate: I don't see why I have to stay here all the time.

Mari: I told you, I want you to stay away from the Iron Maiden. You need to get away from work and just relax.

Kate: Relax? Are you crazy? I haven't got a decent cup of tea since I got her.

Mari: What's wrong with our tea?

Kate: Like I going to drink something called "Uncle Herb's Amost Like Tea".

Mari: Well, okay our tea is not great, but that can't be the only problem.

Kate: What about putting me with the sugar queen Esther and the Munchkin Empress?

Mari: What's the problem there.

Kate: All Esther wants to do is talk about boys and she painted my toe nail so many times I can't put my shoes on anymore.

Mari: I see, and what's wrong with Seth.

Kate: She keeps saying her tea is better then mine. Can you believe it? Everyone knows my tea is, like, way better.

Mari: Well, since she is smaller maybe you should give in and say she's better.

Kate: But since she is older then me shouldn't she be the one to give in.

Mari: Good point. But don't you have Caterina in the same cabin as you.

Kate: Yes, she is a comfort but...

Mari: What?

Kate: She sleeps with her monocle on and it's kind of creepy.

Mari: I could see that... I guess.

Kate: That not my only problem. For some reason at night I attract every bug for miles around...

Mari: That is odd.

Kate: The others have taken to using me a bug light and sticking me outside the picnic tables.

Mari: I'll talk to them about that...although you are quite useful...

(Kate gives her a dirty look)

Mari: I mean it's wrong, terrible wrong.

Kate: Why can't I just pop back to me ship real quick?

Mari: No, absolutely not.

Kate: Why? I hate it here.

Mari: Well, that's the point. If your vacation is bad enough it makes your job look good.

Kate: Well, my jobs looking great.

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**Noelle Bor**

Mari: He-ll-o, No-el-le.

Noelle: Grumble, grumble, snort.

Mari: Why Noelle, what ever is the matter.

Noelle: You know what the matter is. My cabin.

Mari: Why what do you mean. I gave you your own private cabin.

Noelle: Yes, a cabin where the hot water valve is broken.

Mari: Really? Well, we'll have to get it fix. I can tell you haven't been able to take a shower for days.

Noelle: (scowling) I took one every day.

Mari: Oh, my mistake.

Noelle: There was also a huge bug infestation.

Mari: Well, we are out in nature.

Noelle: Yes, that and the hundred sugar cubes hidden under my bed.

Mari: Sugar cubes? I wonder how they got there?

Noelle: Maybe it was the same good fairy who put birdseed on the tin roof of the cabin.

Mari: That creates a problem?

Noelle: Yes, when all the bird comes to eat the seed they make a horrible racket.

Mari: Imagine that.

Noelle: Look your not fooling anyone I know you're the one who did it.

Mari: What do you mean?

Noelle: I can read you like a book.

Mari: Well, um. yes it was me. It was an um...test. To see how strong your endurance is.

Noelle: How come no one else had to take these test.

Mari: Because I think of you as special.

Noelle: Yeah well, I can think of a few tests I like to put you though.

(She slams the door and leave)

Mari: I wonder if I can get a security system install in my cabin.

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**Valclav Havel**

Mari: Hello Vanclav. Oh, my wrong with you?

Valcalv: I found I'm really allergic to the trees and plants around her.

Mari: Have you seen the nurse?

Valcalv: She gave me some medicine but it doesn't seem to have started to work yet, These allergies also have bad side effects.

Mari: Like what?

Valcalv: Well, I... (he sneezes and he disappears)

Mari: Valclav.

Valcalv: (He sneezes again and only his head appears) Do you think it's a head cold?

Mari: Well, at least you still have your sense of humor.

Valcalv: He sudden appears completely.

Mari: Well, that's better.

Valcalv: Yeah except every time I cough I... (he coughs and it launches him across the room.)

Mari: Well, these allergies appear to have affected your powers.

Vaclav: It's not only my allergies, but since you had me in the same cabin as Francesco and Alessondro, my life has been a nightmare.

Mari: What do you mean?

Valcalv: All Francesco talks about is his plan to overthrone and become the new pope. He keeps making me write to do lists and draw colorful diagrams.

Mari: Wow, that's bad.

Valcalv: Every night I have put Alessondo to bed, tuck him in, and read him he's favorite story," The Little Pope Who Could,"

Mari: Well, you don't have to worry because Leon is going to take you place, so you can move into the other cabin.

Valcalv: Oh, thank you, thank you.

Mari: You welcome, I guess.

Valcalv: Well, I'll be going to be going. (He coughs and is projected through the door.)

Mari: Maybe I can schedule a massage in today.

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There it is and I got to go.


	4. Chapter 4

**Trinity Blood Counseling Camp**

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**Brother Petro**

Mari: Well, hello Petro I... (put hand over face) what's that smell?

Petro: I don't smell anything.

Mari: It's you!

Petro: What are you talking about?

Mari: There are flies flying around you.

Petro: Are not.

Mari: You right, there dying around you. Why did you smell like that?

Petro: I smell like nature.

Mari: Nature?

Petro: Yeah, unlike that namby, pamby priest, Abel, I didn't cave in and stay in some wimpy cabin. I've been living out in the wilderness, not even a tent, just me under the stars.

Mari: But why?

Petro: Because I am man and this is what men do.

Mari: I guess someting that idiotic could only be.

Petro: Fishing, hunting, and building fire to keep the animals away.

Mari: By your smell I say the animal's are probably making fires to keep you away.

Petro: Yeah, it hasn't been good for hunting.

Mari: Well, take a shower and then come back and we can talk.

Petro: No, way I had to rub in a trash can for an hour...whoops.

Mari: What!

Petro: Um...nothing.

Mari: Common Petro, give.

Petro: Well, I try to sleeping outside and all that stuff, but it was cold and the crickets made all this noise, and there are bears out there.

Mari: There are no bears around here.

Petro: They might be vacationing.

Mari: But if you haven't been sleeping in any of the cabins, where have you been sleeping.

Petro: Well, I sort been borrowing the truck and...

Mari: And...

Petro: Taking it to the nearest city and sleeping in a hotel.

Mari: Petro, Petro, Petro.

Petro: I filled the gas tank each time.

Mari: Petro, Petro.

Petro: (burst out in tears) I know I am a disgrace.

Mari: Petro, you're obviously suffering from pride issues and you are spending too much time worry about what other people think. Embrace the softer, gentler side of you. They others will accept it if you do.

Petro: You really think so?

Mari: I do.

Petro: Thank you so much, Dr. Mari. (He picks her up and squeezes the life out of her.)

Mari: Petro, I can't breathe.

Petro: Oh, sorry, I am going.

Mari: (growling) I think the softest part of him is his head.

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**Sister Paula**

Mari: Hey, Paula how is things going.

Paula: Being out here in nature has made me decide to go green.

Mari: Got a whiff of Petro, huh?

Paula: No, I meant environmental green.

Mari: You mean like a tree hugger and things?

Paula: Well, I did _try_ tree hugging.

Mari: How did it go for you?

Paula: Not so good. Who knew that squirrels could be so territorial?

Mari: What?

Paula: The little buggers must have thrown there whole winter's horde of nuts at me.

Mari: Well, at least you can be comforted by thought of them of them starving this year.

Paula: Oh, I made sure to return their nuts back to them.

Mari :( skeptical) Return?

Paula: (innocently) Well, I had to throw them back up to them. Can I help that I throw hard.

Mari: Any casualties?

Paula: Only a few. (Chuckles).

Mari: There goes your animal humane award.

Paula: They started it.

Mari: Any other progress.

Paula: Well, I tried to help the others become green minded.

Mari: What happened?

Paula: Man, I have faced hordes of vampires but nothing is as scary as trying to come between Noelle and her aerosol hairspray.

Mari: What happen?

Paula: Let just say that there was so much hairspray sprayed around that there was a layer this thick of dead bugs stuck to the floor.

Mari: Ewwww.

Paula: Yeah, they made me clean it up.

Mari: You cleaned the bugs off the floor?

Paula: Not exactly. I told Tress it was how he could start his bug collection.

Mari: What?

Paula: Hey, I saw it as a win-win situation.

Mari: I commend your efforts, but I think that maybe you should try something simple like taking a bike instead of your car.

Paula: What! You what me to sacrifice rather then just tell other people how wrong there life is.

Mari: Well, yeah, you don't be a hypocrite.

Paula: I okay with being a hypocrite.

Mari: Well, that ends this session. You better get out of here.

Paula: Why.

Mari: I think I saw the biggest crowd of squirrels outside that window.

Paula: Yipes!

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** Ladies and gentle we interrupt this counceling session to bring you " Camping Karaoke".**


	5. Talent Show

**Trinity Blood Karaoke- Camp Talent Show**

Mari: Welcome to the first and totally against my will, Camp Outtamymind Pine Talent Show.

Leon: Where is the booze?

Mari: This is not a bar!

Noelle: I'm going to have to be drunk, if I have to sit through this.

Ion: Can we at least have pizza?

Mari: No, but you can sit down a shut up.

Kate: I think Francesco still has some beef jerky sewn into his clothes.

Petro: I'll take some.

Mari: No you won't YOU WILL SHUT U-u-u-u-p-p-p-p-p!!!!!!!!!

(They all stare at her)

Mari: Um...Please. Now, you have each been separated in a group and choose a song. So let see who is first... Group 1: Abel, Petro, Francesco, and Alssondro. Hit it.

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**Trinity Blood Camp Song**

_(Hello Mother, Hello Father Lyrics by Spike Jones)_

**Abel:**

Hello Sisters, hello Brothers,

Here I am at Camp something or other.

Camp is very stimulating

And it had been great since I stop hyperventilating!

**Petro:**

Forest creature in a good mood,

As long as you give them all of your food.

Professor didn't feed them look what he got,

He's in the nurse's office getting his rabies shot!

** Francesco:**

All the campers don't respect me,

And the doctor just neglects me!

And Leon, just ignores me

And the forest creatures won't bow down before me.

**Abel**:

I learned a lot from Seth and Kate

Like fishing better when you use bait.

Asta taught archery, but I missed the mark

Noelle was always trying to get me in the dark.

**Alessondro**:

Take me home, o please Caterina.

Take me home, they are so mean I

Do want to have a bad or sour attitude

But Francesco likes to sleep in the nude! shudder

Take me home, I hate all the things they dare me

Leon's looks really scary me

I seem to bug him with all I say;

I'm afraid I won't live one more day!

**Francesco:**

Why did I come here? I not like these peasants

I have no problems, I'm sweet and pleasant

To this wilderness, why answer nature's call?

Oh, it must be to be a good sample for you all

**Petro:**

Well, I guess that all that's worth saying

Unless Francesco's not done complaining.

We should have an ending that's kinda catchy

Of forget it let give Francesco a wedgy.

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Mari: That was nice. Why don't give a big hand... or foot out the door.

Seth: I think my ears are bleeding.

Hugue: Let's here a song about a bunny

Mari: There is no song about bunnies.

Asta: What kind of drugs do you think we can get from the nurse?

Mari: Now everyone I have a special treat for you the kids from Sunshine Camp next door have agreed to come and entertain us.

Seth: Oh how cute, the little darlings.

Noelle: How come there all dressed in black leather.

Esther: Even the girls.

Caterina: What's going on here?

Leon: Are you ready kids.

Mari: Leon?

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**Mr. Leon Can **

(Lyrics: Willy Wonka Candy Man)

**Boys:**

Who can take you by surprise?

Make a story new

Scare you till you

Hyperventilate until you turn blue

**Kids:**

Mr. Leon can

Mr. Leon can

Mr. Leon can cause he mixes it with blood and makes the

the story good

**Boys:**

Who can take a bazooka?

And show us how to fire

Get us all arrested

**Leon:**

He's the guy that you admire

**Kids:**

Mr. Leon can?

**Leon:**

That's right I can

**Kids:**

Mr. Leon can

Mr. Leon can or he'll knock you the head

Until he changes you're mood

Mr. Leon can make

All the kid shake

His behavior is strange and suspicious

So times it down right vicious

**Leon:**

Just for that you brats do the dishes

** Girls:**

He stole our councilor's car, you know

He made all the girls scream

He only causes sorrow

And his language is obscene?

**Leon:** I can

**Kids**: Mr. Leon can

**Leon:**

I can pay you each twenty buck

If you tell every one I was good

Kids: Deal!

**Kids:**

And the camp is good because Mr. Leon think it should

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Caterina: Wow that was indescribable.

Hugue: Hey, Leon you should have you own children's program.

Asta: I don' think PBS is ready for this,

Mari: I am sorry to all you children; I offering each of you free counseling. And are next act is,

Cain: That would be us Mari, darling.

Isaac: Are you going to be singing with us.

Dietrich: I mean you are part of our group.

Kate: What are they talking about?

Mari: (growls) I have no idea.

Cain: It's so cute the way she keeps denying it.

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** End of the World**

( R.E.M. lyrics - It's The End Of The World)

**Cain:**

That's great, but there much more at stake, then birds and snakes,

time for pain - Issak, Dietrich make you afraid.

Why is it that we came, Why it's to see you burn?

World drawn to its knee, didn't come to see the trees

We got a master plan going with strength,

The details are all unclear but fear fights all heights.

Wire or a fire, or playing mind games, with the doctor were

going in a combat style.

**Dietrich:**

Left of west and running in a hurry with the strings circling

round your neck.

Think your here for relaxing, tennis, tether balling.

Look at you river rafting!

Your, Wrong.

Uh oh, this is, illegal, immoral, practicing.

Save yourself, no way yourself. World, can't heard your pleas,

We rather watch you bleed, dummy Radu were are all out of the

guns and the knives - right.

You weak, pathetic, man, fright, bright light,

I feel pretty psyched.

It's the end of the world as you know it

It's the end of the world as you know it

It's the end of the world as you know it

and we feel fine

**Issak:**

Six o'clock - playing our hour. Let's set up our gunning tower.

Slash and burn, my turn, listen all villains and learn.

Bunnies hide, squirrels cried, trees burning, no returning.

Smoky bears not so great. his homes incinerate.

Light a touch, or a Terran. Step down, step down.

Watch, who you touch, crushed. Uh-oh, this means I wash

my boot.

Radu steer clear! A battleship, let her rip, I got nice hips

it rhymed

This is our solutions, there are no alternatives and I decline.

It's the end of the world as you know it

It's the end of the world as you know it

It's the end of the world as you know it

and we feel fine

**Radu:**

The other night we had a fight, no one wants me on there side

Bottom of the line

Cain's the king. Dietrich Rules, Issak Sexy and I'm the best

( Yeah Right)

It's a party, no cake, just a mean, boom!

You horrific, irronic, Man a bad trip, right? Right.

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Mari: There is nothing like a heartfelt inspiring camp song... and of coarse that was nothing like one,

Hugue: It should have been about a bunny.

Cain: We should start our own singing group.

Dietrich: We could call it "Listen or Die."

Radu: Catchy name.

Asta: Why don't you just us it to torture your victims. I'd surrender.

Cain: There's an idea.

Mari: On to the next group: Ion, Tres, Valclav, and the Professor.

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**We Like To Fuss**

(T.A.T.U. Lyrics - All About Us)

**Ion:**

We say

We have no luck

You, me, we, us

So we will all

If we must

Cause it's you, me

And it's all about

It's all about

**Ion:**

But were gonna fuss

**All:**

Yeah were gonna fuss

**Ion:**

And well shout

**Ion:**

All about fuss

We want to fuss

On the ship

Or on the bus

Cause ya know

**Ion:**

I'm gonna fuss

**All:**

We're gonna fuss

Were gonna shout

We're gonna fuss

Maybe even cuss

And play pranks if we must

'Cause ya know

**Valclav**:

Whine and fuss

Whine and fuss

What we're talking of

Were going nuts

This camps a bust

Canoes got rust

so let's all fuss

**Valclav:**

They all hurt me

**All:**

They hurt us too

So we'll give up

Won't drop

And well also pout

Cause we like to

**Ion:**

Our sore began to puss

**Professor:**

I named the raccoon Gus

**Valclav:**

What's that about?

**All:**

Yeah we're a wus

We like to fuss

We love camp but

some times it's just too much

'Cause ya know

We like to fuss

We like to fuss

Complain and pout

Life is tough

We like to fuss

We'll run away if we must

I really got go

Don't put up a fuss

**Professor:**

Where's the light

I can't see

Where we are

No electricity

Hold on tight

But not to me

'For get tonight

**Tres:**

I don't get us

What were about

All about us

Why do they

do it oh so much

'Cause ya know

They like to fuss

**All:**

We like to fuss

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Mari: I glad to see your all have a good time.

Noelle: Can we have some beer with thier whine.

Hugue: It would have been better with a bunny in it.

Mari: Um, girls it looks like it's your turn.

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**Camping Girls**

( ONE OF THOSE GIRLS-AVRIL LAVIGNE)

**Seth**

You know we're camping girls

We can do the roughing it thing

Life's serene, despite eating beans

Got it honey

**Caterina**

Black circles under our eyes

Rooms got a million flies

Smell like something went and died

Or the guys gym

**Esther:**

I know what you fuss about

Sleeping bag, I've not figured out

I'm one of those girls, camping's trouble

I tried to light a fire, but the fire went double

Now half of our cabin is gone

Hope to get a new one

**Noelle**:

I'm so good at hiking and running

I'll take horses for a ride and also do some fencing

But my favorite sport, chasing

a certain someone

(Abel gulps)

**Kate:**

I'm tired of camp and you

So you better stay away

I hate this trip, I want my ship.

Right now would be great.

**Paula:**

I want to do it green, but I don't know why

Looks good on the signs

But they actually wanted me to sacrifice

I think I'd rather die

**Asta:**

You know it's a camp, and it suppose to be great

But sometimes I really wish I was dead

No, I wish THEY were dead.

**Mari:**

They're so insane, So insane

They're the ones to blame

They're the ones to blame

**All:**

Camp is really fun.

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Mari: Well, I guess that's all for tonight.

Hugue: Wait, I didn't get to sing.

Mari: Oh wait, Hugue wants to sing.

Hugue: This is a song about Bunnies.

Mari: There are no songs about bunnies.

Hugue: Oh, yes there is.

_My Bunny lies over ocean_

_Or maybe just in her cage._

_They won't let me have my bunny_

_It put's me in a rage._

_Bring back, bring back,_

_Bring back my bunny to me, to me_

_Bring back, bring back,_

_Bring back my bunny to me._

Mari: Very nice Hugue.

Hugue: _Bring back, bring back,_

_Bring back my bunny to me, to me_

Mari: That's enough.

Hugue: _Bring back, bring back,_

_Bring back my bunny to me, to_ _me_

Mari: Alright, we'll give you back the bunny.

Hugue: That's all I ask.

Mari: Goodnight everyone.

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Hey guys, sorry for the wait but now I'm back in action and can start updating weekly.


	6. Chapter 6

**Trinity Blood Counseling Camp**

**Isaak Fernand von Kampfer**

Mari: Well hello Issak.

Isaak: ...mumble...

Mari: Is something the matter?

Isaak: Something happen since I came here, something that's changed my life.

Mari: It has?

Isaak: Yes, I... I can't be a villain anymore.

Mari: Excuse me?

Isaak: (sobbing) I can't be a villain anymore.

Mari: Just a second I need to sit down and catch my breath for a few minutes... Okay, now, hope on hope, why can't you be villain anymore.

Isaak: I discovered something I thought would never happen.

Mari: What?

Isaak: Look! (shows piece of hair)

Mari: Your hair?

Isaak: Yes, my hair, it has (gasp) spit ends.

Mari: What?

Isaak: And my clothes no matter how many times I iron them they still get wrinkle.

Mari: Let me get this straight you want to quite being a villain because you have wrinkled clothes and split ends.

Isaak: There are two things that make for a great villain. One is to have a cool British accent the other is to be evilly gorgeous. I can't pull off the British accent thing, it sound like I have a head cold. So all I have is my evil good looks. But since being out here in the wilderness it all be ruined. (starts to cry)

Mari: Well, maybe it just because you're out here camping, it can damage your hair and clothes.

Isaak: That's no excuse. If a villain can't be gorgeous all the time then he's no villain at all.

Mari: I think your making to big a deal out of this.

Isaak: No, I'm just a bad haired, bad clothed, freak.

Mari: No, your not. You're a good haired, well dressed freak.

Isaak: Your just say that. I mean whose going to what to be killed by me. One look at me and they will die laughing.

Mari: Whoa, that sentence gave me the creeps.

Isaak: No, it no use, I can't be a villain anymore.

Mari: Well, actually that's really good. You turn from your life of crime and...

Isaak: I just have to settle for being a psycho killer.

Mari: What?

Isaak: Well, just until I get the hair and clothes problem taken care of.

Mari: Wait a minute, what the difference between a villain and a psycho killer.

Isaak: Well, no one cares what a psycho killer looks like.

Mari: Um...huh?

Isaak: Well, I feel a lot better. You help me appreciate myself for who I was inside despite my outside appearances. Thanks.

(Issak exits)

(Mari reaches into drawer and grabs a stick and hits herself on the head repeatedly)

Mari: Ahh, much better.

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**Dietrich von Lohengrin**

Mari: Dietrich, how are you?

Dietrich: I'm bored. When are we going to activate our evil master plan?

Mari: I keep telling you there is no evil master plan.

Dietrich: Then why on earth did you bring us out here.

Mari: I was hoping that you would come out her, get in touch with nature, leave your bad past behind and want to do what is good and right.

Dietrich: You know when talking to a patient, it's only polite to use English.

Mari: That was English. What's wrong with you? Don't you ever feel any guilt?

Dietrich: You keep using that word, what does that mean.

Mari: You're joking?

Dietrich: No, I serious I really want know. I think it's important to learn things.

Mari: Well, um, it's feeling bad for doing something wrong.

Dietrich: You're kidding?

Mari: No, I'm not.

Dietrich: Come on, what's the real definition.

Mari: That's it. A bad feelings you get from your conscience.

Dietrich: My what?

Mari: Your conscience. You know that little voice inside that tells you right from wrong.

Dietrich: (starts chuckling) Stop putting me on.

Mari: That what it is.

Dietrich: Yeah right. There a little Dietrich inside of me. (Dietrich speak in big bad voice) I think I go do some thing bad. (He makes his left hand into a puppet and speaks with squeaky voice.) No, no don't do it...( deep voice) But I must...( squeaky voice) No, no, it bad, stop it...( deep voice) Well, now that you mention it I think I will change...( squeaky voice) Hurray! (Dietrich bust out laughing on the floor.)

Mari: Dietrich, stop it.

Dietrich: Hahahahhaha

Mari: Most people acknowledge the existence of a conscience.

Dietrich: Hahahahahaha.

Mari: WILL YOU KNOCK IT OFF!

Dietrich: I'm sorry, your just you so funny.

Mari: Oh, for goodness sake show a little dignity.

Dietrich: What's dignity mean?

Mari: ummmm...It means to exit quickly

Dietrich: Finally you decided to be serious. Well, goodbye.

(Mari takes out bigger stick and hits herself harder)

Mari: Ahhh, better.

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**Radu Barvon**

Mari: Radu, you look a bit down.

Radu: Everyone is mad at me.

Mari: Again.

Radu: Because I made a tiny mistake.

Mari: Again.

Radu: I wasn't my fault.

Mari: Again. What happen?

Radu: I lost half of our supplies.

Mari: I could replace the supplies you lost with what we here.

Radu: Oh great. Let me get out the list. Two laser guns, half a dozen axes, and a guillotine, a...

Mari: I thought you said it was camping supplies.

Radu: Well of coarse we can't go any where without the essentials.

Mari: How are these things essential?

Radu: You don't have a hostile takeover with toothpicks and bug spray.

Mari: What is with you guys and evil plans and hostile takeovers.

Radu: It's who we are, it's makes what us, us, and it's all about of the bigger picture of...

Mari: Okay, okay you don't have to do a song and dance.

Radu: Actually I do.

(Spotlight falls on him and he grabs hat and cane.)

Mari: You're kidding

(Radu start to sing Broadway style)

_Yes, they're have been groups before_

_That you've all hated and deplored_

_But the group that has them floored_

_It's they group you try to forget and hate_

_RosenKruez O-r-d-en _

_Da-ta-da-ta-da_

_We're a different evil group then you seen._

_Yes, we're cruel blood killers and just as mean._

_Yes, we're the same villains that you hate and despise._

_But in our group we have good looking guys._

_So yes we'll kill ya, but will do it with flair,_

_Wouldn't you rather be killed by guy with great hair (except Isaak)_

_Yes, we're corrupt,_

_ But got a great butt_

_When the girls see us they drool,_

_ It a pity we're so cruel_.

_Yes, world domination is our goal,_

_It's wrong, but we look so cool,_

_Want to join, ask for me Radu,_

_I keep coming back from the dead, like deja vu_

_I can't spell it, but I can tell it,_

_RosenKruez O-r-d-en _

_Da-ta-da-ta-da_

Mari: Radu?

Radu: Yes?

Mari: Could you hand me that?

Radu: That boat oar?

Mari: Yes. If you done I see you later.

Radu: O-kay.

(He leaves tap dancing)

Mari takes the oar and hits herself on the head.

Mari: Much better. Next time it will have to be a tree.

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**Cain Nightroad**

Mari: Hello, Cain

Cain: I rather angry at you, you know.

Mari: Me? Are you having anger issues because of my counseling?

Cain: Huh, what? No, I'm angry because I have been holding a place for you to become a member of RCO and you have been coming to any of our meetings.

Mari: How many times do I have to tell you there is no way I would join that RCO thing.

Cain: I feel, for some reason, that you don't want to join. But why?

Mari: Maybe because your group goes around killing people.

Cain: It can't be that. It's other members isn't it? You don't like them.

Mari: You mean because there corrupt and vile.

Cain: No, no problem there. It...it couldn't possibly be me.

Mari: Oh, no, it could be you. I'm mean just because your evil incarnated doesn't mean that wouldn't want to join your group.

Cain: Oh!

Mari: Oh, what?

Cain: So that's it.

Mari: So what's it.

Cain: You're in love with me.

Mari: WHAT!!!

Cain: How could I have been so blind? I am always the last to know.

Mari: Are you crazy, I not in...

Cain: Oh, you don't have to deny it. You have my pity.

Mari: Your pity!

Cain: I know that you don't want to join our group because your love for me drives you crazy, you can't bear to be near me.

Mari: You can say that again!

Cain: You poor, pathetic, thing. You are one of many who have to suffer with this cruel fate.

Mari: I pity myself.

Cain: However hate to lose a brilliant mind like yours.

Mari: Well, you know, can't have a lovesick girl round no matter how smart she is.

Cain: Yeah... well... oh, what the heck. I'm yours.

Mari: WHAT!!!

Cain: Well, for least four days.

Mari: Four days?!!

Cain: Well, honey, with a good thing like this, you've got learns to share.

Mari: Learn to what?

Cain: Oh, your possessive, I like that. Make it five days.

Mari: Okay, this is far enough. I DO NOT LOVE YOU! I WILL NEVER LOVE YOU! IN FACT, I HATE YOU AND I ALWAYS WILL!

Cain: Ahhhh, you playing coy. Baby, I'm yours for a week.

(Mari runs from room screaming)

(Isaak comes in the room and looks out the window.)

Isaak: Is that Dr. Mari jumping in the lake?

Cain: Yeah, we're dating.

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This one is so much fun to write. I think it's the favorite of the series. I hope you enjoy.


	7. Chapter 7

**Trinity Blood Counseling Camp**

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**Cardinal Francesco di Medici**

Mari: Francesco, stop pouting.

Francesco: I AM NOT POUTING!

Mari: You're right. You're having a full thrown tantrum

Francesco: No I'm not. (Falls on the floor and begins kicking his feet.)

Mari: What is your problem?

Francesco: I hate this camp, no one respects me.

Mari: What do you mean by respect?

Francesco: Oh you know respect. Groveling, cowering, pleading for ones life.

Mari: That fear, Francesco, not respect.

Francesco: Oh...well, then I want fear.

Mari: To bad, because you're supposed to be working as a group.

Francesco: I don't want to work as a group. I want be leader of the pack. I want to have the mother and fathers of teenage daughters refuse them to date me.

Mari: I don't think you about that.

Francesco: What?

Mari: Nothing. Listen working with others is important. You need to get know people; listen to what they have say, hear their point of view.

Francesco: I sorry did you say something?

Mari: Francesco, with this conceited attitude, you will never grow up.

Francesco: Conceited, I not conceited. I just have every right to be.

Mari: Okay, that it. I am tired of this attitude.

Francesco: I have others.

Mari: That's not what I meant.At Camp Outtamymind every there are no kings, queens, popes, or cardinals.

Francesco: That'd treason, off with your head.

Mari: Sorry, but here we're a democracy.

Francesco: Barbaric.

Mari: That's it I had it! You listen to me and you listen good. You go out place nice with the other children or your getting a time out.

Francesco: Gazooks. Not a time out. How can anyone be so cruel? Is that even legal?

Mari: Not another word.

Francesco: Yes, Miss Mari.

Mari: I bet he got beat up a lot as a kid.

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**Cardinal Caterina Sforza**

Mari: Caterina is that really you?

Caternia: Mumphmumplegrumplegroan.

Mari: um...is their something wrong?

Caternia: Coffee, I need coffee. NOW!

Mari: Here, here! Don't bite my head off.

(Caternia grabs and start slugging it down.)

Caternia: More, more, more.

(Mari gives her another cup and she slugs this one down as well)

Mari: Caterina, this is a side of you I have never seen.

Caternia: I know. You like everyone else, think I'm perfect.

Mari: Well, I...

Caternia: Perfect hair, perfect clothes, perfect, perfect, perfect. I am so tired of being perfect.

Mari: Wow, I could see how that could be hard.

Caternia: Do you know how long it takes to do my hair in the morning? An hour! A whole hour of my life wasted.

Mari: I never thought of it that way.

Caternia: No matter what people tell you, perfection comes at a cost.

Mari: Girl, this is no good. Come with me.

(Takes her to the back of the office and shoves her into a room)

Mari: We are going to give you a whole new look.

Caterina: I not sure I want a new look.

Mari: You just told me you were not happy with the old look, it's time to change.

Caterina: Yeah, but I...

Mari: First of all, what's with the monocle?

Caternia: I use it to read documents.

Mari: Hello! You not read a document now. So get rid of it.

Caternia: What are you going to do with it?

Mari: Just keep it for a while.

Caternia: But, but, I need my monocle.

Mari: Next let's get this hair out of your face. How about a sexy, little pony tail?

Caternia: A ponytail!

Mari: Now, a new wardrobe and...

(A half an hour later.)

Caternia: Well, how do I look?

Mari: Well...

Leon: Dr. Mari I was wondering if... (to Caterina) Hey, whoa, baby, where have you been all my life.

Hugue: Leon, did you get the...Well, hello there.

Professor: Guys, what's taking you ...WOW!

Leon: Well, aren't you going to introduce us.

Mari: Why should I introduce you to Lady Caterina?

All Guy: LADY CATERINA!

(They all faint)

Caternia: You know, maybe this is a good look for me.

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**Alessandro XVIII**

Mari: Alessandro, what seem to be the problem?

Alessondro: You know, that whole teen idol, get myself a girlfriend thing?

Mari: Yeah!

Alessondro: It's not going so well.

Mari: Well, the first step would be to stop carry around your safety blanket.

Alessondro: Mr. Snuggles!

Mari: Hand him over.

(He sighs and gives it to her.)

Mari: Now let get to the root of the problem. What do you do when you see a really good looking girl?

Alessondro: I run and hide.

Mari: Well, that problem numbers two.

Alessondro: Once I did talk to a girl, I was delirious or something.

Mari: Good. So what did you say?

Alessondro: Well, I got on my knees and said, "Please, please be my girlfriend, who I will eventually fall in love with, marry and be the mother of my children.

Mari: We'll at least you didn't appear desperate, pushy, or over demanding.

Alessondro: For some reason when I open my eyes she was gone.

Mari: Imagine that. Look we got to work on your approach to girls

Alessondro: Oh, I already have a whole new approach now. I go up to a girl and say" hey baby, can I have your phone number, cause I've seemed to have mine," or" I've lost my puppy, can you help me find him. I lost him in this cheap hotel room."

Mari: Those are the worst pick-up lines I've ever...

Alessondro: Then I go up to her and do this.

Mari: ALESSONDRO! What do you think you doing?

Alessondro: Isn't that right?

Mari: Of, coarse not. What ever gave you such an idea?

Alessondro: Well, Leon said...

Mari: Leon told you this stuff. Why on earth would listen to him?

Alessondro: Well, he is a guy...

Mari: Who is an idiot and who also does not have a girlfriend?

Alessondro: Hey, your right. After all _you_ have a boyfriend.

Mari: That's right...wait... what are you talking about?

Alessondro: You're dating Cain, aren't you?

Mari: Who told you that?

Alessondro: Cain's been going around tell everyone how you threw yourself at him cry and pleading.

Mari: WHAT! HOW DARE HE! OF ALL THE...

Alessondro: Ahhh, no yelling.

Mari: Oh sorry. I just need to relax. Take a few breaths and...

Leon: Hey, what's going on in here? I heard a bunch of yelling.

Mari: Leon, just the guy I was looking for. I don't want you giving anymore stupid dating advice to Alessondro, understand.

Leon: What are you getting mad at me for? You have a fight with your boyfriend, Cain?

Mari: HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND!

(She picks up a vase and throws it at Leon.)

Leon to Alessondro: See this is why you don't date smart girls.

(Mari throws another vase at him.

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**Queen Esther of Albion**

Mari: Hello Esther.

Esther: What happened here?

Mari: Um... a shelf broke.

Esther: But there is some stuff way over there.

Mari: Two selves broke. Look we're not here to talk about me; we're here to talk about you.

Esther: Oh, well I am having doubts about being a queen.

Mari: Good. I mean, that it is normal having these doubts. What seem to be the problem?

Esther: Well, here I am, a princess in the woods, and nothing is happening.

Mari: I thought you a queen.

Esther: Whatever, I'm _royal_ and nothing is happening.

Mari: What do what to happen?

Esther: Well, I went out in the wood, expecting them to lead me to a little house were dwarves live.

Mari: What!

Esther: Or maybe a castle surrounded by a giant thorn bush.

Mari: Your kidding.

Esther: Anywhere where I could fall into a magical sleep.

Mari: Well, you don't have to worry about you brain, it's already asleep.

Esther: And a handsome prince would come a kiss me and be my true love forever.

Mari: That is ridiculous.

Esther: It is not!

Mari: Forest animal won't lead to a castle.

Esther: They did_ too_ lead me.

Mari: The led you to a magic castle?

Esther: Well, not exactly a castle. It was more like a cabin own by an old man named Bob.

Mari: I see.

Esther: He was willing to kiss me.

Mari: I'll bet he was. Look, Esther you need to separate the fantasy world from the real world. Stop all this stupid princess stuff and be a good ruler for your people.

Esther: Your right. I was silly of me to want to find a castle in the woods and fall into a magical slumber.

Mari: Finally, your starting to make sense.

Esther: I would be better if I found a little old man who could turn straw into gold.

Mari: Get out!

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**Empress Augusta Vradica or Seth Nightroad**

Mari: Hey Seth, how are you doing.

Seth: Great, I love camp.

Mari: You do, really?

Seth: Yes, this place is great. So far I won the tug-a-war, the three-legged race, the sack race...

Mari: That's nice.

Seth:... the water melon eating contest, the horse shoe throw...

Mari: um...

Seth: the volleyball tournament, swim competition..

Mari: Enough! Why do you guys always ramble on and on and on and on and on and...

Seth: Are you done yet?

Mari: Oh...um... sorry.

Seth: I just thought that you would be interested in all that I have accomplished, I know I would be.

Mari: What with this little miss perfect routine?

Seth: Mmmmm... little miss perfect. I like it. It fits me so well.

Mari: Oh, man, are you sick. What a minute don't remember all those activities.

Seth: Well, I won them, I can show you my ribbons. What I don't understand is why you office is way out here in the middle of nowhere.

Mari: What are you talking about?

Seth: Why is you office here instead of closer to the camp.

Mari: It is in the camp!

Seth: This is the counseling camp? I though it was a dumping site.

Mari: What are you talking about this is a great camp.

Seth: The camp next door is much better.

Mari: THAT'S NOT OUR CAMP!

Seth: Doesn't matter. They welcomed me with open arms.

Mari: ( to self) ...spoiled brat...

Seth: Did you call me a brat?

Mari: Maybe.

Seth: At least I have better taste in camps, and in men.

Mari: Well, this is this is the best I could...wait, what do you mean?

Seth: Well, you and Cain are...

Mari: No, don't say it.

Seth: You're not dating?

Mari: No!

Seth: Cain said you weren't serious, just weekend lovers.

Mari: Weekend what! (Start to sobs) No, it isn't fair, it just isn't fair.

Seth: I sorry, is there anything I could do?

Mari: If you could kill Cain for me, I'd appreciate it.

Seth: I see what I can do.

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**Ion Fortuna**

Mari: Well, what do you what. I warn you I am no mood for whining.

Ion: Hey, your a doctor, you should be acting like that.

Mari: No doctor has put with patients like you.

Ion: We're super special.

Mari: Your super something.Start talking.

Ion: Camp hasn't been too bad. I spent the first half chasing Esther while she chased forest animals.

Mari: How did that go for you?

Ion: Not to good. I did meet a nice guy named Bob, who showed me his stuffed skunk collection.

Mari: Stuffed skunks?

Ion: Bob doesn't have a lot of friends.

Mari: Are you getting along with the other campers.

Ion: Well, Leon filled my bed with stinging nettle.

Mari: Typical Leon welcome.

Ion: Francesco tried to get me to sit in the fire pit and hold a can of gasoline

Mari: I think that means he likes you.

Ion: I went out with the professor to go star gazing but all the time I kept hearing this beeping noise and he kept pointing out the stars with a screwdriver.

Mari: I knew he was sneaking in inventions.

Ion: I arm wrestled Tres a few times, but I think the professor told him to let me win a few times.

Mari: You think? Wow, it seems like you're really bonding.

Ion: Yeah, last night we all told ghost stories. Paula story was about a pickle, it scared Petro to death.

Mari: You don't want to know.

Ion: Hugue told a story about the ghost of the girl who stole his bunny.

Mari: Is Kate still doing that? Anyway it sound like your having fun.

Ion: Well, I really got to know everyone better.

Mari: Well, that's good.

Ion: No, not really.

Mari: Why?

Ion: I like them a lot less.

Mari: Can't argue with you there, brother.

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**Asta Asran**

Mari: Oh, no, Asta, please, I'll see you tomorrow.

Asta: What's wrong with you.

(Mari groans)

Asta: Does this have anything with you date a certain someone else

(Mari groans again)

Asta: I have so been there.

Mari: You have?

Asta: Girl, I have been set up with ever male that has a pulse and some I'm not sure of.

Mari: You're kidding.

Asta: I have been set up with Petro and Hugue.

Mari: No way.

Asta: It's like, maybe I want to go on a date where I don't have to fight a duel to the death.

Mari: Oh, man, who set you up with those two.

Asta: Esther.

Mari: Figures.

Asta: My mom is always trying to get me to date.

Mari: Hear you there.

Asta: She always like "how many hundreds of years do I have to wait for you to find a nice guy, get married and start having children."

Mari: Yeah, my mother is the same way.

Asta: And I like, "Mom, I am busy, protecting the empress, running around killing the enemy, I don't have time to get married."

Mari: Yes, the same here, except it more like working in an office instead of killing people.

Asta: And she's like " Well, what about that nice guy, Suleyman," and said " for one mom, tried to assassinate the empress, for two, he's dead."

Mari: Bet that shut her up.

Asta: Not her. She suggested I wait for Ion to grow up ans start dating him.

Mari: Mothers are the worst.

Asta: Well, finally I told her about the shocking experience that turned my hair white.

Mari: Is that really what turned your hair white?

Asta: No, but it makes for a good story.

Mari: What did she say after that?

Asta: Well, she said that she could see how that could scar me and that's why I am taking counseling.

Mari: But we fooled her.

Asta: Yeah, I not going to get anything out of counseling.

Mari: Yeah...Hey

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I have a really tough two weeks. They have been messing around with my medication, so if my writing isn't up to par, that's why. Any way I combined the last two chapters so now I am done.


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